Abundance of Heart Touching Moments

Miss L came over with outfits she found while rummage sale-ing for pots and pans for her niece.  It was just a "few dollars" here and there.

She knew Ella would like the blue outfit.
She knew Sophia would like the pink leopard print.
She knew the children's sizes.
She knows my children as I do.  She is "home" for us when we can't go home (to our families) and when I feel her presence, I am calm, knowing someone is there for us -- for my children -- as we wish our families could be.

She touched my heart.

NG comes over every morning and calmly steps into our chaos -- my chaos -- and directs traffic getting the twins out the door to the bus in time.
She gives us a peaceful transition from home to school -- without her there would surely be more yelling, tension...
Her dad fixes my mower, steps in to help snow blow the drive when Dave is not around...

Their family touches my heart.

Miss S called and emailed each day before my big interview.  She sent positive vibes.  I felt something that I couldn't put my finger on -- calming me as I prepared for and then walked into my big interview last night  (that ultimately landed me a job to cure all of our financial woes).

She touched my heart.

Dad said I was a pearl.  He said I was calm. He said I could do the job and everything would be okay.
He touched my heart.

Mom said she'd work around my schedule for holidays.  That things will work out.  That this is a great opportunity.  She said she also pictured me doing well continuing with my private practice -- continuing with writing funny, but helpful parenting articles as I have been.

She touched my heart.

They all made me cry.

Bill Pearcell writes about "The Heart's Code" (also the title of his book).  He explains the neuro-pathway that is present between the heart and the brain.  He discusses the growing body of research showing memories in our heart...It's not the type of specific memories we call up when we reminisce about how grandma looked so cute as she made the best cookies, but the type of memories that when we walk into a home and smell cookies and  instantly feel transported to a place of being nurtured, loved, accepted, supported...looked out for.  Feeling like our presence matters.

"The Heart's Code" and the research it discusses about the heart-brain neuro-pathway validates all those sayings out there such as "broken heart."  We now know that a person really can die of a broken heart after losing someone dear to them.  Many famous, wise people in history have alluded to the heart's power and granted it credit beyond "just" pumping our blood through our bodies...
  

What comes from the heart, goes to the heart.

- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

All the knowledge I possess everyone else can acquire, but my heart is all my own.- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Nothing is less in our power than the heart, and far from commanding we are forced to obey it. - Jean Jacques Rousseau

Now there is a strong and growing body of research to back-up the ideas behind these quotes.  According to multiple research studies involving heart transplant recipients, the heart remembers things.  The research is so strong and valid, that pre-transplant counseling is now given to many heart transplant patients forewarning them of this phenomenon of heart memories.  The phenomenon includes heart transplant patients having changes in parts of their personalities that are similiar to their donor's personalities, or cravings for their donor's favorite foods, or a love for a new hobby, or even recurring dreams that tell of how a donor died (when the cause of death was not shared).

And now, as I attempt to find Andi good daycare before I start my full-time job in three weeks, it occurs to me why my heart's truest wish (really, it has felt like my heart has been making the request) is for our neighbor to take Andi while I am gone (I made the request to Miss L, and now I wait knowing that whatever answer she gives is going to be okay).  I think in pictures, and whenever I picture the emotion of leaving my child with someone, I see a plate with a heart on it.  I am not just handing someone a defiant, independence-seeking two-year-old, I am handing them my heart and Andi's heart and I know our neighbor is the best person to love Andi while I am away.  Not the daycare I attended today where multiple toddlers screamed and "teachers" used constant loud voices ordering children from task to task versus honoring and enjoying each child's sweet, magical presence.

 Occasionally in life there are those moments of unutterable fulfillment which cannot be completely explained by those symbols called words. Their meanings can only be articulated by the inaudible language of the heart.  - Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

Here, There and Everywhere

Tonight I went into Zumba class full-throttle.  After getting the green light from my physical therapist, I was excited to return to class after a 3 week absence.  I did some rock moving and landscaping in the side yard, then went into the gym for weights.  I spent the last three days dedicating time to a marketing event for my practice and traveling to Iowa and I wasn't sure I'd have the stamina to keep up with the class.  But I just kept picturing all the frustrations my sister is having with her health and the flood of gratitude I had about my ability to have an able-body had me sailing through the class. 

At the end of class, my heart monitor/calorie counter declared 902 calories had been burned off.

Well, hot dog!

Here are the pics from our trip to IA; a trip to the orchard and the last cannon balls of the season. Next weekend, we're off to Kansas City thanks to Uncle P treating mommy to her first vacation in 7 years -- between fertility treatments tethering us to a 30 mile radius of the clinic for months, then not wanting to travel with baby twins, we've stuck to traveling only to IA. Should be fun.

Ella diving into the corn pool

One of the Three Little Pigs houses

Andi did not want to be the troll under the bridge...but I thought it was such a fitting character for her...

Playing around the in the little one-room school house -- so cute!

Sophia is crossing the bridge of the Three Billy Goats Gruff.  You can see one of the Three Little Pigs houses in the background.

Swimming in the corn pool

The jumping pillow.  This is the coolest thing!

Riding the tiny choo-choo

Sailing down the slides!

Big Dave

Dave, also known as "Big D", "Big Dave" or "D!", celebrated his birthday this week.  The girls and I didn't give him a gift.  A few weeks ago he went out and purchased items he wanted for a soccer team he's decided to join and he indicated that the investment would suffice as a gift.

I attempted to explain Dave's choice to the girls.  Sophia, with her blond hair and big blue eyes looked at me for a moment and then asked, "Does he know what he got himself?"

Yes, he does.

Andi and I did pick him up a bag of trail mix the day before his birthday so he would have a little something for a surprise, but since Andi takes after me as far as keeping secrets, she promptly told him on the noon phone call we do daily, "I got you MM's!"  He still didn't know it was trail mix -- so it wasn't a total bust...

But then he came home from work and saw the bag sitting on the counter with his cards.  Woops.

I felt the need to redeem myself and Andi -- so after the girls left for their 2nd day of school, Andi and I headed to the raspberry farm and picked 4 pints of berries to make jam.  We also went to the store to get ingredients to make a marble pound cake.  I spent the afternoon baking and vowing not to tell my business partner -- a nutritionist -- that there were SEVEN cups of sugar in the jam we made! 

Mother-of-the-Year Eats her Words

Kindergarten orientation was held on Tuesday. Parents were to attend class with their child for one hour.  Since the twins are in separate classrooms, that meant we had to go to two orientations.  It would have been a possibility for Dave to go to one session with one twin, and myself and the other twin go to the other class.  But since I am more like Kate Gosselin than not, I felt I needed to hear each of the teacher's spiels for myself because I didn't trust Dave to obtain or provide all necessary information.

During the first orientation, I tasked Dave with doing the assigned treasure hunt with Sophia while I filled in all paperwork.  Dave neglected to do a few things correctly which led to a minor civil war about "you have to follow directions, Dave!  You have to write the bus number that Sophia is going home on so she doesn't get lost!  It HAS to be on her name tag! You have screwed this whole thing up and made it really confusing --"

At that point Dave cut me off and I turned around to my paperwork, steaming Kate Gosselin-style, "Do I have to do this all myself to get it done RIGHT?"

After that pleasant first round of orientation, we headed to Ella's orientation which went off rather peacefully and I collected about 20 more hand-outs to read which I filed in the "If I'm bored someday I'll read this shit" file.

Fast forward to yesterday -- the first day of school.  The girls hopped off the bus -- they were home from school 40 minutes later than I thought it would be.  The bus company never told me when to expect the girls...so I had just made a guess as to when they'd arrive. I made a note to myself that I had an extra chunk of time that I hadn't planned on and quietly celebrated.  

I now realize that they were 30 minutes late getting home yesterday. Apparently, the bus company (which has been so very frustrating to deal with) did not have Sophia and Ella on their list -- despite me calling 500 times.  Yesterday, after dropping off all the children, the bus driver was left with not an empty bus, but instead had two children leftover.  The twins.  And instead of calling dispatch or the school to find out where the girls live she asked two five-year-olds.  "She didn't know where we lived so we had to tell her how to get to our house!" repeated Sophia over and over.

Oh geez.  

After debriefing them from being stuck on a bus that drove them around and around we headed inside.  Sitting at the lunch table, I asked what they had for snack at school.  Sophia reported her classroom had oreos.  Ella reported, "milk."  I asked Ella what everyone else in her class ate and she said, "crackers, cookies, oreos..."

I was getting confused and so pressed further, "Why didn't you eat anything?"

"Because I didn't have anything, mom."

"But Ella, where did all the other kids get their snacks?"

"From their lockers."

Uh-oh. 

Buried on page 5 of the papers from the "If I'm bored someday I'll read this shit" file was a small paragraph about snacks.  "Please pack your child a snack," it read.

Oh dear.

"Ella, how did it make you feel when everyone was sitting there eating and you didn't have any food?"

"I felt healthy!"

[PAUSE]

"But, I'd like to have a snack for tomorrow."

Okay.

At least she wasn't traumatized by my inability to follow directions...

Sophia, on the other hand is mildly tramatized by the bus situation which happened today -- their second day of school.

I fed Andi lunch then settled her in my bed for a nap.  I still had 30 minutes before I expected the bus, but when I came downstairs, the bus was sitting at the top of our cul de sac with our neighbor standing in it's door.

I headed out thinking that the neighbor must be really glad to see the girls -- "at least one of us is over-excited to see the girls," I thought to myself.

The girls bounded down the bus to me, there was no friendly wave from the bus driver like yesterday, and the neighbor looked at me and said, "Didn't you hear the bus honking for you?"

I had not.  What is the problem?  The neighbor proceeded to tell me that the driver refused to let the girls off the bus until I was in full sight.  "I told you, mom!" Ella pointed out as we walked home.

It's true.  Ella had told me that yesterday -- day 1 of school -- that the bus driver wanted to see me before the girls could get off, but I figured it had something to do with 1st day things.

Sophia has reminded me 10 times tonight to wait for the bus in the driveway tomorrow afternoon, "I almost cried on the bus today.  I was scared I'd have to ride around and around (like yesterday) and never be able to get off because you weren't there!"

Oh great.

I'll do my best to follow directions and do it right tomorrow.

Big Girls Don't Cry: The First Day of Kindergarten

It's true.  Big girls don't cry -- and as it happens -- neither do their mothers. 

We made homemade oatmeal for breakfast, slipped on the dresses Bobo got for the twins during a recent trip to Mall of America, put hair up in bows, slid on our brand new shoes, then headed for the bus.  The 5th grader (NG - neighbor girl) next door was waiting for the bus with us.  Thank goodness for her.  She sat on the bus with the twins.  I could see Ella switch seats -- trying to get to NG's seat -- as the bus started to pull away and had a moment of panic that Ella would get yelled at in the first 5 minutes on the bus...but I think it all turned out fine. 

At home, I paused long enough to wonder if any sad feelings would come up.  Wasn't I supposed to be crying? 

But, in true Mother-of-the-Year form, nothing was there except sheer, unbridled joy and the feeling of relief and freedom. We'd done enough talking, shopping, orienting, visiting, planning, and forecasting.  Let's just get it over with already!  And we did...

Sophia looked back at me one time, hesitating slightly as the bus stood with it's doors open.  Ella paused, but only to look for Sophia. 

I think it makes it really easy to send them when:

• there are two of them
• the neighbor girl looks out for them

Ella is in the front seat -- picture snapped just moments before she ran to the 3rd row to sit with Sophia and the neighbor girl.  

 

Stay tuned for their thoughts and reactions to the big day....

Big Girls Don't Cry: Kindergarten Starts Tomorrow

Big girls don't cry, but mommies do.  It's the eve of their 1st day of kindergarten.  On our run tonight (they bike beside me while I run) I asked them if it would be ok if I cry when I say good-bye to them before they get on the bus tomorrow.  They both smiled and said "no" and then looked at me -- as they so often do -- like I'm crazy. (And I am crazy, no doubt about that.) 

They can't wait to go to school tomorrow.  After orientation today, they were feeling confident and positive about the experience. They don't seem to be nervous -- though at 9:30 PM, Ella is still awake and I'm not sure if it is the allergy medicine I gave her, the effects of having a rare treat --pepsi-- earlier today, OR if she's nervous.

It's great that they start with 1/2 day kindergarten.  I don't think I could handle sending them all day, everyday. They are my identity and my crutch and what would I do if I don't have them to deal with?

I know.  I'll potty train Andi.  We bought her a potty that is very fitting of her attitude (she picked it, not me).  She picked new "underwears" and with the house quiet, we'll see if Andi decides to take the bait.  So far, the most she has done is pee'd in her "underwears" and run around the house with the potty seat on her head yelling, "I'm a princess!" 

I did feel a lot of guilt not sending the twins full-day because most of their friends are doing the full-day thing.  I was talking to my hair stylist and she always has a way of taking me down a notch when it comes to my angst over decisions such as ear piercing...and whether full-day kindergaren is warranted.  "It's not like they can teach those full day kids much more than the other kids because there are so many kids that don't do full-day that they have to keep them at the same level." 

And then there's my aunt -- a preschool and first grade teachers of many years who pointed out, "kids don't need the full-day experience.  They have their whole lives to be in school."  And then she pointed out the research that says those kids -- even if they do get ahead academically -- eventually even out with everyone else.

I need to let it all go.  It's fine.  It would have been fine either way...just this way...I'm able to afford.  1/2 day is free. 

And so tomorrow, we'll see how it goes and whether the song is true when it sings, "Big girls don't cry yi yi."

Summer Winds Down

I've been training Sophia to be the perfect housewife, but as summer winds down, all good things must come to an end. 

But fall brings fun things, too.  Like going to the apple orchard and then making homemade applesauce...

Before summer winds down, though, we made a trip to Izzy's.  This ice cream store was listed as the best ice cream store in the cities. 

And in our very last day before crossing the threshold from mommy's little babies to children who attend public schools, we attended kindergarten orientation.  Sophia's teacher had a quiet demanor with a laid back, unstructured orientation while Ella's teacher was full of hugs, circle time with singing and dancing, and animated engagement with the children. Oh dear...I guess it wasn't such a good idea to have the girls meet each other's teachers.  Shit.  I imagine things will be fine...and this is just one more of the little things a multiples mom deals with...Sophia wants Ella's teacher (and can we blame her?)

 In orientations, I had to fill out paperwork stating my expectations for their learning for the school year.  I didn't really have any...I just hope that they meet expectations, explore the world, find their passions and reach for the sky.