Humor is also a way of saying something serious. - T. S. Eliot

Friday, July 1, 2011

Moving Heaven and Earth

I'm not really sure where the saying about moving heaven and earth came from, but I'm pretty sure that I know how it feels to move heaven and earth...well, at least the earth part.  Since the beginning of the week I have been digging all of the rocks out of my landscaping.  With our shrubs and trees pulled, all that was left was rocks and stumps.  My compulsive "everything must be nice and tidy" personality is NOT tolerating the look of the front yard very well; however, my tiny budget is not affording me to hire a pro-landscape team to come in and whip it into shape at a minimum of $3500.  With the government shutdown, Dave's already hectic and long week turned longer.  And because he's got a whole lot of "I'll do it tomorrow" in him, it has come to the point that I had to take matters into my own hands. There are points in our marriage when it is very clear that a Type A has married a Type B, and this is one of those times.

So on the eve of my birthday...which would have been on Monday, I began digging at my rocks.  After shedding sweat, tears, and blood (literally), I gave in and began calling guys on Craigslist (do not tell my mother, she'll kill me.  "You are going to get yourself killed dealing with these people on Craigslist.  Haven't you heard all those stories in the news?!").

So my first set of guys showed up on my birthday early in the AM.  They worked for 15 minutes and then said, "this is too much work."  Really, I'm surprised they weren't tougher.  Don't prisoners do this sort of work?  One of the men had swasticas and various prison tatoos all up his arms.  I tried not to stare, but I was a bit fascinated as I don't typically run with that sort of crowd.

"Fine," I had told them.  I'll have my husband or myself do it.  The guy looked at me and laughed, "Your husband?  He's not going to be able to do it. And you? You'll never get this done.  No way!"

While he was right about Dave not doing it, I was going to be damned if my landscape stayed looking like it did.  He had no idea the power of my compulsive personality.

So on my 35th birthday I began digging.  I dug and dug, and pretty soon the neighbor girl came over and dug and dug with me.  We got a lot done.  I strutted around for awhile feeling pretty good until I realized the twins birthday party is in just over a week. 

Needing to get a move on, I began calling more Craigslist guys.  All I wanted was my rocks removed and disposed of.  Multiple men came and went, giving me their bids and their opinions about my inability to do this "heavy, hard work."  None of the bids were below $800. Several of the men saw the work I had already done and asked if my husband had worked on it.  No, I told them, I was the one working on it. "You? You're so tiny to be doing this work!  Holy crap, I'm not going to miss with you."  Then looking at his partner while still pointing at me, "She's a tough one.  She could probably kick our ass!"

And since I couldn't afford to pay the men, but despite time ticking, I strutted around my yard for a few more minutes and then got back to digging.

I took a break for some flourless, rich chocolate birthday cake from Whole Foods and then went back to work.
The neighbor guy came over and did a few wheel barrows full with me and loosened some rock.  Dave helped last night with a few loads...and finally, I am nearly done...with the rock part.

 Now all that is left is to:
re-do the bedding lines
install edging (how does one do that?)
tack down plastic
install my water feature (thanks mom and dad for a beautiful blue fountain)
lay down the mulch
and plant a few plants...

As well as
make 2 batches of homemade cupcakes with frosting
set up for the party
paint the trim which suddenly started flaking white paint 

Oh! And  do the grocery shopping, clean the house, do the laundary, pack for a 3 day trip to IA, do the laundary again, keep the kids fed, bathed and entertained

and find someone to haul off all these rocks which are now in the drive...

and breathe.  don't forget to breathe....

Happy, safe July 4th to all. :)

1 comment:

  1. You are Super Woman!! I would totally be up there to help you BUT I don't like the heat or MANUAL LABOR for that matter. I know a VERY HANDSOME guy named Jake that might be able to help you...just ask your dad about this hunk and how many times we have asked for him to bring the deposits over ;) I hope you find someone to help you and can have a great trip to Iowa to enjoy the 4th!!