Humor is also a way of saying something serious. - T. S. Eliot

Monday, February 13, 2012


We want someone who is nice.
And who doesn't make us stay in the basement the whole time you are gone and tell us, "Be Quiet! Be Quiet! Be Quiet!"
And who takes us on outtings.
She types on her phone or her computer.  All the time. Or she talks on her phone.  (Oh hell no.  This is the final nail in the coffin.  What happened to Nanny K's promise to mommy, "I always leave my phone off when I work."  Oh, wait.  The key word in Nanny K's statement was "work." That dumb girl hasn't done a bit of work.)
We want to go outside (on a nice day) but she says, "just go downstairs and ... Be Quiet!"
She doesn't talk to us very much.
She's mean. 
She doesn't play with us ever.  We play by ourselves. 
We want a new nanny mommy. 

Mommy and Daddy want a new nanny for all the above reasons PLUS the following:

She bakes a frozen pizza on the cardboard it is packed on. (What? How stupid are you?)
She doesn't give Sophia her medicine.
She doesn't do the dishes.
She doesn't pick up the toys.  (She sometimes makes the girls do it, though).
She won't cut up the fricking apple I set out for the girls. Is it too much to ask you to feed the girls some fruits and veggies?
She doesn't do the girls homework with them or unpack their backpacks despite me asking her three damn days in a row and despite that being the only thing I asked of her outside of feeding the girls lunch -- that I already made.
She lets Maggie roam the house without supervision and that means Maggie pees and poops everywhere.  Guess who has been cleaning up?  One of my 5 yr-olds.  Why? Because "she was busy on her phone, mommy."
She ate my entire bag of gourmet organic chips.
In one day. 

Don't mess with a skinny girl's junk food.

Or her children.

Nanny K talks a really good "Cleaning up after the children is a normal part of a nanny job and I'll gladly do other things like laundary," game that mommy feels stupid that she fell for.  But the jig is up.  The replacement is hired.

I feel so Donald Trump-ish.  Let me practice this one more time and make my point very clear.

Nanny K, you're fired.


  1. That B-----!!! You didn't make demands that are above what should be expected of someone watching your children. I really hope that the next one has more common sense then the last one.....maybe she was fired and not let go because the dad lost his job.

  2. Oh, good grief! If only I could be paid to socialize all day...