Humor is also a way of saying something serious. - T. S. Eliot

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Let's All be a Little Og

Here's to parents who aren't "inconvenienced" by their children. Parents who don't view it as being "stuck home with the baby" when they can't go out partying every night, who value their time with their children, who don't pawn their kids off as often as they can on whoever wants to take them, who accept responsibility..., and love it too. Parents who deserve to be parents. If you're one of these, repost this!


That's what I thought when I read the above post on Facebook.  Lots of people "liked" it.  I didn't "like" it.  I didn't like it one bit.

I wondered "who would write such a judgmental thing?"  I'm always thinking like a social worker.

Today I got my answer.  I'm pretty sure the lady walking into Target who gave me "THE LOOK" was, if not the writer of the above statement, at least "liked" it on her Facebook page.

Andi was laying just off the curb, screaming, kicking, and crying, the twins were five feet behind me quarrelling over how to carry the too-heavy diaper box I had dropped as I lurched after Andi who had darted towards the Target parking lot.  A kind gentleman intervened, taking the box from my twins, he told me he would help us to the car.  As we all turned to cross the lot, I met "THE LOOK" head on. The woman made a point of meeting my eyes, her eyes were narrowed, lips in a flat-line, she emphatically shook her head in a disapproving fashion.  

You've seen "The Look," right? 

"The Look" that says "Can't you control your naughty, ill-behaved, animal-like children?" 

"The Look" that says these people don't get/know/remember/believe/tolerate children having a NORMAL childhood moment.  

Nor do they allow parents forgiveness for wanting to run away from it all when it just feels like it's too much. Because sometimes it IS too much.  And in the moments when it is too much, kindness, not critical -- judgmental stares and statements -- goes a LOOOONNNNG way.

"The Look" that does nothing but make me want to reach out and,

with my one bare hand

-- while still holding  my screaming, writhing toddler in the other arm--

squeeze the neck -- of this person who doesn't know the situation, but still condemns us.

Fingers curved around their neck, feeling veins, cords, and bones and I watching their critical eyes grow wide as my arm starts to shake,

and their veins start to pop,

I say "what the fuck are you looking at bitch?"

And then we both stand there -- as if in a stand-off, my knuckles starting to ache from a tight squeeze held too long, my nails digging into my judge's skin -- until I finally let go, grab my other two children, and walk away. 

Was that as good for you as it was for me?
I can't remember where I was going with this. I'm going to hand it over to Og Mandino while I lay here with my cigarette.

Instead of "THE LOOK,"

Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. 
Extend them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster. 
Your life will never be the same again. ---Og Mandino

*Authors note- I know there are mandated reporters reading my blog.  Please do not report me, I promise to contract with you not to harm myself or anyone else.

1 comment: