Humor is also a way of saying something serious. - T. S. Eliot

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Happily I Pass the Baton to My Brother

I remember back in the day... Back in the day when we wanted kids...when our lives revolved around appointments at a fertility clinic and fear of having one more dead baby.  It's amazing how much an attitude can change.  I used to be afraid infertility and loss would haunt us forever.  What if I wanted more kids, but couldn't have them?  As it turned out, having twins...and then a surprise baby more than cured that.  My fear that I'd never really feel like I'd know for sure I was done having kids, or have the CHOICE not dictated by infertility, is not going to be a problem...

You know you are done having children when:

1. Someone announces they are pregnant and your automatic thought is, "Why are you so excited?  Life is gonna suck for you and I'm really glad I'm not in your shoes right now.  It's not gonna be rainbows and sunshine...or even close to it."
2. You pass by the baby stuff at Target and get a headache versus the "ohhhh that's so cute" reaction.
3. You see pregnant bellies and think, "I'm so glad I'm not doing THAT to my figure." Again.
4. You see pregnancy and children as holding you back from a career. 
5. You panic at the very thought of having to give up real workouts at the gym.
6.  You get grossed out by a drooling messy baby.
7.  You actually really don't want to hold the newborn the mom is dangling in front of you for you to hold. Then...
8.  You feel stressed and anxious while holding the little darling, mixed with a bit of unexpected resentment -- and great relief when you get rid of the baby.
9.  Newborn babies crying in public annoy you -- when did I become THAT person?  (I promise P & H, I will not be annoyed by your baby.  Or grossed out.)
10.  You don't experience a second-thought or a bit of guilt when your big-blue-eyed children say they'd like another sister and you automatically, firmly, without a second-thought tell them NO.  No frickin' way in hell...and in that moment realize that life has brought you to a decision you didn't even know you were trying to make.  How convenient.

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