Humor is also a way of saying something serious. - T. S. Eliot

Thursday, December 2, 2010

HERstory of the Artificial Christmas Tree

I don't know much about HIStory.  I never could pay attention in that class.  But I do have a theory about where the first artificial Christmas tree came from.

I believe that it was invented by a mother who:

  • lived on the tundra known as Minnesota
  • and had three small children
  • one of which was sick and refused to be set down, nor could she walk in her first pair of boots
  • was a perfectionist and all the lopsided trees on the farm drove her nuts
  • was married to a less-than-handy-man
  • who took 45 minutes to cut down the tree - maybe because the saw was DULL
  • while the baby cried in her arms the ENTIRE time
  • and the twins ran around "are you done? are you done now? can I help? Here, let me help! LOOK! I'm riding on Daddy while he cuts the tree!"
  • and the wind whipped and cascades of snot dripped down the children's faces because she FORGOT to bring kleenex
I think it makes a tremendous amount of sense, my theory on who may have invented the artificial tree.

We did, though, finally get the tree cut down and the twins saw Santa, got a candycane, and rode the choo-choo.  Andi rode the choo-choo once around, but started crying so hard, they had to stop the train and ask us to come get her off of it.  So it goes when you are only 1 year old.

I have also heard that some artificial trees come decorated and/or pre-lit.  Those were also invented by a mother who:

  • had busybodies for children who pulled things out of boxes faster than she could blink
  • while the 1 year old pulled the lights off the tree
  • and then pulled the ornaments off the tree - losing the tiny hooks in the carpet
  • and whose husband thought it would be a good idea to saw excess limbs in the living room introducing sawdust into the mess
Complaining and sarcasm aside, the tree looks really pretty.  It's straight and even, the lights give the family room a warm glow, and despite the struggles that go along with our tradition of cutting down our own tree...I'm glad we did it.  And so is Andi who runs into the family room multiple times a day and exclaims in surprised excitement "TREE!"

Now if only Andi would stop opening the presents that I wrapped and put under the tree...I'm running out of wrapping paper...

The Twins are sporting new dresses from auntie M, and Andi is on strike as far as wearing pants....


  1. The girls look beautiful in their dresses and for Andi, there are several adult ladies that seem to think it is fine to go out on the town with barely any she is going with the trend of Hollywood. ;) I think you may have a point about who invented the "faux" trees. I love how E & S are down on the ground helping daddy get the job done! I hope your girls have a great time this Holiday Season...and the sick bugs stay away now.

  2. The girls look very pretty in thier new dresses and Andi looks totally relaxed. The tree looks good and the memories of the quest to get it will warm your heart for many years. I should know 'cause I remember our trips to the tree farms.

  3. Ha! I love it! Now I have extra support to throw at my husband as to why our new artificial tree is totally appropriate! :-)

  4. Glad I could be of help, Stacie!

    Kirstin, thank you. I hope you all are having a good holiday season -- your first as parents!

    I loved Strautmans, Dad. That was a perfect tradition to start. Loved it.