Humor is also a way of saying something serious. - T. S. Eliot

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Resilient Trooper

So proud of her gingerbread house with "2 chimneys"
Ella has been such a trooper.  At first I felt really guilty.  She has always been low maintenance.  Very content to play on her own, rarely asking for my attention.  And while this was a good thing, since Sophia was so very high maintenance, it also led to me feeling really guilty.  I would feel so frustrated at Sophia's inability to function without my constant doting so that I could just pay Ella some attention.  This has gone on since they were brand new babies.  And things haven't changed.

When Sophia and Andi needed to be seen by the pediatrician on Weds night, the neighbor so kindly offered to let Ella spend the night at their home. Ella loves the family...but I still had a hard time reconciling the fact that I was not there for her...that once again, it seemed, she was pushed to the side for her two higher maintenance sisters.

The next day, when Ella came back, she busied her self playing.  I forgot to feed her a snack in the morning and afternoon, but she never uttered a word except to say that she was "very very hungry" when I asked her "Oh my gosh Ella!  Did I forget to give you a snack?"

And then as I could feel myself starting to come down with the stomach flu that Sophia and Andi had, I asked Ella to take care of the dog, to get her own drinks, and to wait for daddy  to come home so he could feed her.

She had no complaints.  She was so pleasant.  She went to school without Sophia.  She allowed neighbors to take her to school.  She had an incredible attitude about all of it.

I was beating - beating - beating myself up for taking advantage of her independence when it hit me.

This kid is a trooper.
She's resilient.
She's flexible.
She's independent.
She can self-soothe.
She can self-entertain.
She can cope with the ups and downs of life and what an incredible attribute to have as she goes through life.

I do still need to make sure I offer her personalized attention.  That's a given for any kid.  But I don't need to beat myself up, I suppose, for not always being right there for her.

You are so sweet Ella.  I hope you know what a sweet presence you are in my life, as I go through my days as a type-A personality.  You are just what I need. 

We just finished your conference with your teacher and she said you are "so sensitive," you are engaged with the other children and make friends, but you are "slow."  You just don't get your work done very fast because you are enjoying it so much, that you sit there

and sit there

and sit there

instead of moving to the next station. So, we will work on not getting so absorbed into your work that you get left in the dust in order to get you ready for kindegarten.   We'll work on balance, I suppose, because really.  Is having the ability to stay focused for long periods of time really a problem? 

You are into math and numbers.  You have started adding and have a big time interest in playing math games.  I am not the type of mom to love math...I barely passed it, but for you Ella, I sit and ask you, "What is


and so on.

I love to watch you on your journey Baby Ella.

"Ice Skating" at the Mall as we wait our turn to see Santa.  Some teenagers thought you were so funny, they made a video of you.

Yum!  You went on a field trip to a restaurant and got to make your own pizza!  What a fun day at school!

1 comment:

  1. Ella is very sweet and if she needed you she would have ask. You are doing the best you can and that is all that matters....she probably thought it was cool that she got to go with the neighbors because her sisters didn't get to. You will make up for it someday and she will remember that more!!