Humor is also a way of saying something serious. - T. S. Eliot

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Abundance of Heart Touching Moments

Miss L came over with outfits she found while rummage sale-ing for pots and pans for her niece.  It was just a "few dollars" here and there.

She knew Ella would like the blue outfit.
She knew Sophia would like the pink leopard print.
She knew the children's sizes.
She knows my children as I do.  She is "home" for us when we can't go home (to our families) and when I feel her presence, I am calm, knowing someone is there for us -- for my children -- as we wish our families could be.

She touched my heart.

NG comes over every morning and calmly steps into our chaos -- my chaos -- and directs traffic getting the twins out the door to the bus in time.
She gives us a peaceful transition from home to school -- without her there would surely be more yelling, tension...
Her dad fixes my mower, steps in to help snow blow the drive when Dave is not around...

Their family touches my heart.

Miss S called and emailed each day before my big interview.  She sent positive vibes.  I felt something that I couldn't put my finger on -- calming me as I prepared for and then walked into my big interview last night  (that ultimately landed me a job to cure all of our financial woes).

She touched my heart.

Dad said I was a pearl.  He said I was calm. He said I could do the job and everything would be okay.
He touched my heart.

Mom said she'd work around my schedule for holidays.  That things will work out.  That this is a great opportunity.  She said she also pictured me doing well continuing with my private practice -- continuing with writing funny, but helpful parenting articles as I have been.

She touched my heart.

They all made me cry.

Bill Pearcell writes about "The Heart's Code" (also the title of his book).  He explains the neuro-pathway that is present between the heart and the brain.  He discusses the growing body of research showing memories in our heart...It's not the type of specific memories we call up when we reminisce about how grandma looked so cute as she made the best cookies, but the type of memories that when we walk into a home and smell cookies and  instantly feel transported to a place of being nurtured, loved, accepted, supported...looked out for.  Feeling like our presence matters.

"The Heart's Code" and the research it discusses about the heart-brain neuro-pathway validates all those sayings out there such as "broken heart."  We now know that a person really can die of a broken heart after losing someone dear to them.  Many famous, wise people in history have alluded to the heart's power and granted it credit beyond "just" pumping our blood through our bodies...
What comes from the heart, goes to the heart.
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

All the knowledge I possess everyone else can acquire, but my heart is all my own.- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Nothing is less in our power than the heart, and far from commanding we are forced to obey it.
- Jean Jacques Rousseau

Now there is a strong and growing body of research to back-up the ideas behind these quotes.  According to multiple research studies involving heart transplant recipients, the heart remembers things.  The research is so strong and valid, that pre-transplant counseling is now given to many heart transplant patients forewarning them of this phenomenon of heart memories.  The phenomenon includes heart transplant patients having changes in parts of their personalities that are similiar to their donor's personalities, or cravings for their donor's favorite foods, or a love for a new hobby, or even recurring dreams that tell of how a donor died (when the cause of death was not shared).

And now, as I attempt to find Andi good daycare before I start my full-time job in three weeks, it occurs to me why my heart's truest wish (really, it has felt like my heart has been making the request) is for our neighbor to take Andi while I am gone (I made the request to Miss L, and now I wait knowing that whatever answer she gives is going to be okay).  I think in pictures, and whenever I picture the emotion of leaving my child with someone, I see a plate with a heart on it.  I am not just handing someone a defiant, independence-seeking two-year-old, I am handing them my heart and Andi's heart and I know our neighbor is the best person to love Andi while I am away.  Not the daycare I attended today where multiple toddlers screamed and "teachers" used constant loud voices ordering children from task to task versus honoring and enjoying each child's sweet, magical presence.

 Occasionally in life there are those moments of unutterable fulfillment which cannot be completely explained by those symbols called words. Their meanings can only be articulated by the inaudible language of the heart.  - Martin Luther King, Jr.


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