Humor is also a way of saying something serious. - T. S. Eliot

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Orders to Dave: Addendum

I have already (repeatedly) told Dave that I have a DNR.  Under no circumstances do I want my life saved if I'm going to be any less functionable than I am right now.  Each time there is a story about a spouse "choosing" to do life saving measures on their gravely ill partner I say, "See.  That's an example of how I'd wake up and you'd be in big fucking trouble."  I have control issues and a "I'll do it myself" complex and I can't imagine feeling helpless and just laying in bed.  No thank you.  "But Shannon, the girls would still like you around." 

"They'll get over it.  They'll grieve, they'll be sad, then they'll go on, unburdened by a mother who can't care for herself.  Let me die, or I'll be really mad."

After last night's execution, I'd like to add one more order for after I'm dead.  See? I am like Kate Gosselin -- moreso than not -- I'm trying to control people even in my death. Really, perhaps it's not control, but more like a compulsive planner-aheader. 

Anyway, should I get murdered -- which is a fear of mine every time I leave the gym at night -- I'd like for the accused just to sit in jail.  No death sentence, please.  I just don't feel okay about killing someone just because they did  it to me.  And I imagine jail is a horrible place, so if they are guilty, it seems best to leave them there.  If they aren't guilty, it seems best to give them the phone number for the Innocence Project and -- hopefully -- let justice prevail. 

I'm not very good at saying things succinctly, so I'll end with a friend's facebook quote that sums up my thoughts nicely.  He's the author of Unconventional Wisdom and the owner of a FB Page samely titled where he is very fond of telling the Truth as he knows it...

  Why am I against the death penalty? Because it's almost impossible to know for sure that the accused is guilty. Which means after the execution we don't really know if he/she was a killer, but we do know for sure that we are.

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