Humor is also a way of saying something serious. - T. S. Eliot

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Mother-of-the-Year Eats her Words

Kindergarten orientation was held on Tuesday. Parents were to attend class with their child for one hour.  Since the twins are in separate classrooms, that meant we had to go to two orientations.  It would have been a possibility for Dave to go to one session with one twin, and myself and the other twin go to the other class.  But since I am more like Kate Gosselin than not, I felt I needed to hear each of the teacher's spiels for myself because I didn't trust Dave to obtain or provide all necessary information.

During the first orientation, I tasked Dave with doing the assigned treasure hunt with Sophia while I filled in all paperwork.  Dave neglected to do a few things correctly which led to a minor civil war about "you have to follow directions, Dave!  You have to write the bus number that Sophia is going home on so she doesn't get lost!  It HAS to be on her name tag! You have screwed this whole thing up and made it really confusing --"

At that point Dave cut me off and I turned around to my paperwork, steaming Kate Gosselin-style, "Do I have to do this all myself to get it done RIGHT?"

After that pleasant first round of orientation, we headed to Ella's orientation which went off rather peacefully and I collected about 20 more hand-outs to read which I filed in the "If I'm bored someday I'll read this shit" file.

Fast forward to yesterday -- the first day of school.  The girls hopped off the bus -- they were home from school 40 minutes later than I thought it would be.  The bus company never told me when to expect the I had just made a guess as to when they'd arrive. I made a note to myself that I had an extra chunk of time that I hadn't planned on and quietly celebrated.  

I now realize that they were 30 minutes late getting home yesterday. Apparently, the bus company (which has been so very frustrating to deal with) did not have Sophia and Ella on their list -- despite me calling 500 times.  Yesterday, after dropping off all the children, the bus driver was left with not an empty bus, but instead had two children leftover.  The twins.  And instead of calling dispatch or the school to find out where the girls live she asked two five-year-olds.  "She didn't know where we lived so we had to tell her how to get to our house!" repeated Sophia over and over.

Oh geez.  

After debriefing them from being stuck on a bus that drove them around and around we headed inside.  Sitting at the lunch table, I asked what they had for snack at school.  Sophia reported her classroom had oreos.  Ella reported, "milk."  I asked Ella what everyone else in her class ate and she said, "crackers, cookies, oreos..."

I was getting confused and so pressed further, "Why didn't you eat anything?"

"Because I didn't have anything, mom."

"But Ella, where did all the other kids get their snacks?"

"From their lockers."


Buried on page 5 of the papers from the "If I'm bored someday I'll read this shit" file was a small paragraph about snacks.  "Please pack your child a snack," it read.

Oh dear.

"Ella, how did it make you feel when everyone was sitting there eating and you didn't have any food?"

"I felt healthy!"


"But, I'd like to have a snack for tomorrow."


At least she wasn't traumatized by my inability to follow directions...

Sophia, on the other hand is mildly tramatized by the bus situation which happened today -- their second day of school.

I fed Andi lunch then settled her in my bed for a nap.  I still had 30 minutes before I expected the bus, but when I came downstairs, the bus was sitting at the top of our cul de sac with our neighbor standing in it's door.

I headed out thinking that the neighbor must be really glad to see the girls -- "at least one of us is over-excited to see the girls," I thought to myself.

The girls bounded down the bus to me, there was no friendly wave from the bus driver like yesterday, and the neighbor looked at me and said, "Didn't you hear the bus honking for you?"

I had not.  What is the problem?  The neighbor proceeded to tell me that the driver refused to let the girls off the bus until I was in full sight.  "I told you, mom!" Ella pointed out as we walked home.

It's true.  Ella had told me that yesterday -- day 1 of school -- that the bus driver wanted to see me before the girls could get off, but I figured it had something to do with 1st day things.

Sophia has reminded me 10 times tonight to wait for the bus in the driveway tomorrow afternoon, "I almost cried on the bus today.  I was scared I'd have to ride around and around (like yesterday) and never be able to get off because you weren't there!"

Oh great.

I'll do my best to follow directions and do it right tomorrow.

1 comment:

  1. LOL..Oh no! I love reading your posts. I've missed them.