I had a choice on Tuesday afternoon. I couldn't decide. Should I focus on the deep sense of contentment I usually feel after I get my house cleaned? Or should I focus on the agitated embarassment that kept goosing me, asking me to bask in it.
Sophia and Ella had their first birthday party invite from a preschool friend. They would make pizza, eat cake, play dress-up, and then go home. On the way to the two hour long party, Andi fell asleep in the car. I began to get that racing feeling of excitement thinking about all I would get done while the twins were gone and Andi was asleep. Maybe, if I hurried, I could clean my house. (Yes, this excites me. Truly.)
I got home and ran, clearing the counters of two weeks of bills, receipts, artwork by the twins. Clean laundary, left in baskets in four different places was all brought together on the bed for folding. Vacuum, check. Dust. Done. With 10 minutes to get to the party to pick up the twins, I was sweaty, but deeply satisfied that I got all done, except for the mopping.
Arriving at the party, I noticed cars there. Other parents to pick up their kids, I guessed. The mother asked me to come in, the girls were finishing their cake. We ultimately left and Ella told me she didn't talk to anyone. She just sat by the window and watched for me.
I reminded Ella that mommy was not invited. "But all the other daddy's and mommy's were," she countered.
Well this was an eyebrow raiser.
"Ella. Did all the other mommies and daddies have pizza?"
"No, they just watched. They said they'd eat lunch at home."
Sophia piped in, always my accurate reporter, "all the other mommies and daddies must have been invited. They came to the party."
Hmm. What do people think of moms who dump not just one, but two children at their home and dash off like a speed freak trying to meet their dealer before he runs out of his supply?
Should I look these other parents in the eye when school starts again in the fall?
And poor Ella. The little girl by the window. Waiting for mommy.